I had my phone interview today and I was so so so nervous. I had been nervous for days. It is -the- perfect job, for a company I have adored for years. But I think I struggled a bit during the interview from being nervous. I could have answered so much better and detailed. But it also made me realize why it is hard for me to talk about the topics we did. It was a lot of questions about gaming, since it is a game company I applied for. I have loved computers and games basically all my life. Yet I never felt like it was a hobby I was allowed to do, it was always something that was looked down upon, still I never stopped, I just never talked about it. Ever. Even when I was among the top 50 in the WORLD. It is just something my family and friends puts no value in, so why talk about it? I mean, you can even notice it here in my blog, how often do I write about my gaming? Not very often. But still I game every single day, even if I only have time for an hour. I have so much fun doing it, hanging out on mumble together with friends talking about anything or everything. But when it comes to talking about it in real life, it just feels like something I have to be ashamed of. Why? Why am I not allowed to be openly passionate about something and why do people respond to it with an eye roll or "don't you have anything better to do"-face? The only people I am actually 100% comfortable talking to about this is my gaming friends or other gamers, who I know share my passion. Anyway, I hope I get through to the next round, but it is really hard to keep the negativity away when you feel like you disappointed yourself. I know I could do it, and I know I am great at it, but it is just getting that across that seems to always be my struggle.